Sacrificial Offerings

After my mom had tried to take her life, my dad sent her to the best hospital he could. Unfortunately, that meant she was shipped out of state. Daddy missed her so. I would see him up at night pondering if he had done the right thing, sending her away from the family. But mommy was sick. Like any illness, she needed treatment from doctors.

We would drive hours to see her on long weekends. She would warmly embrace us when we came to see her. We would visit, play games, walk on the grounds. I can't remember how long she was there, but to my mind it seemed dreadfully long. I missed my mommy. I missed her baking with me, reading to me, and singing to me. She had a voice of an angel. If ever I was upset or just to talk to me, she would sing to me. It was our special language. She would teach me all kinds of things: math, science, grammar, and how to laugh all with song. Eventually the time came, mom got to come home. The doctors said she was well enough to come home.

It was a wonderful day. We left bright and early. We stayed overnight like usual, but instead of going back to the hospital the next day Daddy, Mommy, Kyle and I went to the zoo.  Kyle held onto to Mommy's and I onto Daddy's so that they could also hold hands. I don't remember so much the animals that we saw as much as the wonderful feeling of my family being together again. We were whole.

On the way back home, I rested my head on side of my chair. Kyle fell asleep in his car seat. Mommy and Daddy were talking, thinking that I was asleep.
"I'm glad you're coming home," Daddy said as he squeezed mommy's hand.
Mommy smiled painfully, "Yes, but I have to keep seeing a doctor."
"It's just a precaution. I don't want to see anything happen to you, Maggie."
"I know, Ron."
"That's why I asked to be given my own store to manage instead of traveling so much."
"What?!"
"I stepped down as regional manager. I want to be close to you, Maggie. The company agreed to make the manager of a new branch they are opening."
"But you love that job."
"It's just a job, Maggie. You and the kids mean more to me than my job. I want to be there for you. What if I had been away on business in Iowa when.... I can't do that. Not right now. Maybe down the road, I can again. Mr. Felzer was understanding and said if I ever change my mind that the job is mine. But right now, Maggie, this is what I feel needs to be done."

So Daddy went on. He stepped down from the regional manager. I would have never known if it had not been for me hearing their conversation. Daddy never brought it up. He was happy to be around.

Mommy started seeing a new doctor- Dr Miranda. She said that Mommy had something called Multiple Personalities Disorder, that's why her moods changed so fast. Sometimes she was really sad. Sometimes she'd get really mad. Sometimes she just couldn't stop doing stuff, and then you just got out of her way. If I didn't get out of her way, I'd end up getting smacked on the rear end which I figured I earned anyhow.

Eventually, we bought a new house in the next town over. By then, I was 8. I wasn't too happy with it. Leaving all of my best friends in my old town, neighborhood, and class for all new people. So Daddy & Mommy decided that perhaps my brother and I should see Dr Miranda too.

The day we saw her was the first day we had ever met her. She was frumpy and had short grey hair stacked on her head. She looked kind enough, but something seemed strange. She had my mom, brother, and I sit down. Mommy talked about how she when she acted different ways it was because other people were taking over.

"Do you ever feel that way, Lola? Like someone else is taking over?"
"No, not really."
"I do!" Kyle said excitedly, "and they are going to take over the world."
I rolled my eyes, "Kyle, I don't think that's what she means..."
"... no they take over. Do you have feelings?"
"Everyone has feelings. Of course."
"Name your feelings."
"Well, when I'm sad I'm might cry. Or when I'm happy I might smile or laugh..."
"No. I mean NAME your feelings. Give them names."
"You mean like people?"
"Yes."
"...."
"My mad guy is named Carl!" yelled Kyle.
Dr Miranda smiled.
"How about this... draw a picture of you feeling the feeling. What does the face look like?"
I drew a picture of me feeling sad, happy, angry, nervous...

Afterward, Dr Miranda called my dad in.
"I'm sorry Mr Dahl, but they all have Multiple Personality Disorder."
"LIAR!" I yelled running toward her. "I don't have no other people in me and you know it!"
"Lola. Settle down," my father said strictly, "What do you mean?"
"She asked us about our feelings and then told us to name them."
"You mean like sad, happy, mad? There's nothing wrong with that sweety."
"No, Daddy. She said to give them human names."
My dad narrowed his eyes at her, "Dr Miranda, you're fired." He stalked out angrily. I don't think I had ever seen him that mad.

"But Ron, what will we do? I still have to be seen." panicked my mom.
"Not by that quack you won't."
Silently we all got in the car.