The Runaway's

Whenever I think about how my mom left my dad, I can't help but think of this song:


My mom and dad had been arguing back and forth. It was a lot of yelling. I could hear mostly my mom from the other side of house. My little brother, who was 9 at the time, would come into my bed to sleep with me because he was so frightened by the yelling. We were both afraid. I would have nightmares of it turning into physical altercations. Laying the the bed, we bore our souls- our fears and nightmares.

I don't remember how [I think my brother told my mom], but my mom found out about our nightmares. She said they weren't nightmares- they were happening. I looked at her warily. At twelve I knew the difference between my dreams and reality. I had never seen Dad strike her. By time she found out about the nightmares, I had seen her try to strike him. Dad always reflected the attempts by brushing it aside.

Mostly the arguments would be over she thought Dad was trying to control her, and then he would reply that he wanted to make sure she was taking her meds. Other then that, Mom could do as she pleased. If she wanted to volunteer, she could, If she wanted to work, she could. If she wanted to stay home, she could. I was old enough to stay home for a few hours and keep an eye on my brother. That had always been the policy, and we would go to a friend's house for a few hours while Mom worked when I was younger. It was frustrating, Dad wasn't controlling, but yet at the same time I wanted to believe her. Because why would she lie to me?

.... so came the day...

She didn't steal us away in the dark of the night. That would have been too hard. One day after school Kyle and I came home to find suitcases packed.

"What is this?" I asked.
"We're leaving." my mom declared.
"On a trip?"
"No, I'm tired of your father's abusive behavior. We're leaving him."
"I'll leave a note..."
"No!" she screamed, "I don't want him to find us... He doesn't want to be a family anymore."

I dutifully helped pack up the car with the suitcases, not understanding. We ended up in a women's shelter in a nearby town. There were about half a dozen women there with their children. Most of the other women had bruises on them. The some of  the other children recoiled from strangers out of fear. I could smell the fear there. My mom called my grandfather to tell him what had happened.

Meanwhile, after work my dad came home as usual. I can only imagine what it was like for him to come home with no one there. No note which would have been strange. We usually left notes for everything, even if we were going to only be out for a bit. I'm sure fear gripped him. I do know that my grandfather called my father to tell him what happened. I think grandpa must of sensed something was off. The police came, and took away my mom. We met our grandparents at the police station, and they took us to my dad [there was a policy to not directly release kids to potential abusers.] Dad was overjoyed to have us back home. Mom was admitted again into a hospital. She hadn't been taking her medication in over 6 months. She decided to keep living at the women's shelter at first after she was discharged to sort things out. She would come and visit us frequently at home. Eventually she moved back in with the understanding that if she were to leave again, that was it.

Time passed. It appeared wounds healed. But 6 months after that, she decided she wanted to leave again. This time, I pleaded with her to leave a note because last time we left, it scared Dad. After some pressing, she agreed. So again, we packed up and went to another women's shelter. Mom was angry with the last one because she thought they had turned on her with the police. She refused to believe it could be her father that turned her in. We stayed at that women's shelter some time. It worked better than the last. It was still scary. We had to be buzzed in for safety. There was a lot of fear from the other women and children. My mom seemed to be happy, healing and stepping out on her own, which I was happy to see. Unfortunately, she didn't remain happy...